Ten Ways to Love

Years ago, I read Pastor Chuck Swindoll’s list titled, “10 ways to love.” It reminded me of the sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861) titled, “How Do I love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways.” That poem speaks of the loyalty and attention that is required to fully love others. But I like Chuck’s list because it helps us to know HOWDSCN6609 we can manifest our love. Here is Chuck’s list with my brief commentary on each item.

     Listen without interrupting (Proverbs 18:13; “Anyone who answers without listening is foolish and confused.”) Interrupting others is our most common fault. Many people are insecure and need the approval of others, so they interrupt to share their own opinions. Others interrupt because they feel that the person speaking doesn’t have much to say. Yet others interrupt because they’ve been taught that kind of interaction at home. But interrupting is rude and unloving.

     Speak without accusing (James 1:19a; “Be willing to listen but slow to speak.”) Stephen Covey said in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Therefore, before we accost someone over an issue, we should first find out his rationale. Even if his action was improper, his motivation may have been right. Let’s encourage others, not be judgmental.

     Give without sparing (Proverbs 21:26b; “…Good people give without holding back.”) If you’re thinking of giving money, that is okay often needed; but this verse is concerned with giving of yourself. One of our greatest needs is to know that someone cares for us; and a caring listener can be a divine manifestation of God’s love.

     Pray without ceasing (Colossians 1:9; “…we have continued praying for you….”) This isn’t praying without stopping; it is praying every day – sometimes several times a day. Prayer is the greatest help we can do for others because the answer comes from God. Freda Bowers in her book “Give Me 40 Days” [of prayer] reminds us that God will take care of our needs as we pray and trust Him.

     Answer without arguing (Proverbs 17:1; “A dry crust eaten in peace is better IMG_3275than a great feast with strife.”) Unless you are trying to make enemies, let your verbal interactions reduce friction. Let your words be oil on troubled waters, not gasoline poured on a fire. Don’t let anyone goad you into an argument, either. Instead, allow him room to express himself in a non-threatening atmosphere.

     Share without pretending (Ephesians 4:15; “…we will hold the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ….”) In the ancient world, unethical potters filled the cracks in their pottery with wax, colored the wax, then sold the pottery as good-quality ware. Honest potters, selling only high-quality merchandise, printed on the base of their pottery “Sin Cere” – which means “without wax.” Always be sincere (truthful) with others, loving them with the love of Christ.

     Enjoy without complaint (Philippians 2:14; “In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing.”) “Knock it off! I can’t take it anymore!” That was the response from a friend of mine to the visitor’s unending complaining about the 105 F. heat. I silently agreed with him about the complaining, but his attitude was not appropriate. Let’s be kind to others, while making sure that we are not the complainers.

     Trust without wavering (1 Corinthians 13:7; “…love never gives up…and endures through every circumstance.”) This is a hard one: how can we continue to trust someone who has a history of letting us down? Romans 8:28 will help us here. It says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Seeing people and painful situations from God’s perspective will reduce the pain and disappointment.

     Forgive without punishing (Colossians 3:13; “…forgiving each other…as the Lord forgave you….”) Chuck Swindoll did not say, “forgive and forget.” Forgetting is not the issue; not holding the sin against the person is the issue. Forgiving reestablishes our love for the person, enhances our maturity, and builds our relationship with God.ATT02260

     Promise without forgetting (Proverbs 13:12; “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.) Breaking promises to a child teaches the child to be a skeptic; breaking them to others destroys our reputation. Let’s be living examples of Godly character by keeping our word.

Practice these 10 ways to love, and I am sure you will find other ways. 

Freedom to Express Our Faith

In 1994 while working at a scientific laboratory, I was told that I needed to remove my Bible from the top of my desk – it was in public view – and to refrain from praying on government property. I asked the question typical of a five-year-old: “Why?” The response was, “This is government property and we need to observe separation of church and state by becoming a religion-free work place.

Now, you may imagine many of the thoughts that raced through my mind. I didn’t want to argue the matter because I was on government time, my supervisor was giving the order, and I desired to honor my authorities. I did, however, realize that this was one side of a double-standard that was aimed against Jews and Christians. So remembering a recent Laboratory-sponsored event, I said:

DSCN0691B“Last week we observed Native American Heritage Week here in the laboratory’s main auditorium. Every day at 8:00 AM and again at 1:00 PM for a total of ten meetings, a different Native American group opened the meeting by reciting their tribal prayer. Now, if the Lab supports or allows the Native Americans to pray to their gods on government property, then I also claim that same privilege of praying to the Judeo-Christian God. And if there are any questions about that, you know my phone number.”

That settled the issue. I was never challenged at the lab again. Amazingly, I was asked to write weekly articles based on good integrity, ethics, and character for our division, and send them out by e-mail. Why? Simply because I lived what I believed; supported my beliefs with the Bible, fact, and recent history; did not condemn or look down on others, and loved people. Did I confront people? Yes. But was I “confrontational?” No. Non-Christians and I do not have to agree with each other, but we all work well together because we do not intimidate each other, and we respect each other. 

A number of years ago while visiting my mother-in-law in a nursing facility, I was speaking with her husband, Charles, about trusting the Lord while knowing that Mom could die soon. A social-worker walking by stopped and rather sternly askedDSCN4637B Charles, “Do you want to listen to this?!”

That took Charles off-guard and he looked at me with a blank face; so I said to the social-worker, “Charles is my step-dad, and he doesn’t have a choice.” It was her turn to be dumb-founded, and she walked away. (Charles and I love each other. He laughed, and we continued our discussion about life with Jesus Christ.)

Zig Ziglar said in an interview with Michael Ireland on March 11, 2006, “The biggest lie Satan has ever told is that ‘it is okay to talk about your faith in church or at home, but otherwise, it is a personal matter.’ The reality is, everyone else has come out of the closet, and Christians need to come out and make it clear where they are coming from. Now, the life that they live will be totally believed if they live as Christ taught us to live. However, if you do not follow the ten commandments, if you do not have the Fruit of the Spirit, if you do not go out in the Full Armor of God, if you do not go out believing that the Golden Rule is a wonderful, working rule in your relationships with all people, then all of the conversations that you will have will fall on deaf ears. What you are speaks louder than what you say.”

 And to that I say a hearty “Amen!

While we, as Christians, are to respect people and obey our authorities, we should stand up for truth and righteousness. No one else will. (Note: We are to obey those in authority over us UNLESS they demand that we disobey God and Holy Scripture.) We are not to be argumentative but freedom of speech applies to all sections of our society. So let’s exercise that freedom. As Edmond Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Therefore, the only time we will lose the right to pray or speak openly is when we vote into office ungodly – or fearful – people, then cooperate with them when they attempt to deny us our inalienable/Constitutional right of freedom of speech and freedom of worship.

If we want to retain our freedoms, we must vote into office people who also want us to have those freedoms.

But many in the world live under a different historical and cultural setting. They do not have the freedom of speech or freedom of religion built into their culture. What are they supposed to do? How are they supposed to live?

My answer ultimately applies to everyone living in the United States of IMG_2639America and everywhere else. We are to live according to the principles as found in Holy Scripture – the Bible. My reasoning is simple: if I live to please and honor Almighty God, the Creator of the universe, I will have a home in heaven forever even if I am killed here on earth for my faith. This life is so short anyway – why not prepare to live forever with God in heaven?

That way, I will always have the freedom to express my faith as long as I live. No one can ever take that freedom from me.

How Should We Respond?

A friend asked recently, “How do you respond with a good attitude when things go wrong?” I’ve chosen the following examples from personal experience to help answer the question.

It was a cold, moon-lit February night in 1970, north of Seattle, Washington. GettingDSCN3918DSCN2635B off work at the Boeing Aircraft Company just after midnight, I was heading home looking forward to the chocolate cream pie my wife had made. No one else was in sight on the road. I was driving carefully because it had snowed earlier that day, and now a gentle, slushy rain was falling. The temperature was around 30 degrees.

Driving over a small hill, I saw a car stopped beside the road about a quarter mile away. I activated my 4-way emergency flashers and began slowing down. Pulling up alongside the stopped car I noticed a partially frozen stream flowing beside the road. I leaned over, rolled down the passenger window and asked the man standing there, “Can I help you?”

The man said, “No, everything is under control.” Suddenly he looked up. His eyes widened in panic and he yelled “WATCH OUT!!” as he jumped, and tumbled downPICT0027 the embankment into the freezing water. Within seconds, a Ford going about 45 miles per hour slammed into the back of my Toyota. But at that moment another man, who had also stopped to help, walked unseen in front of me. The impact hurled my car and me about seventy feet down the slick road; but my car hit the unseen helper. He was flung around like a rag doll, and wound up under the car we had stopped to help.

My immediate thoughts were: What should I do? How should I respond?

Believe it or not, my only injury was a sprained neck which still gives me mild frustration today. As other cars arrived, I asked the first driver to go call for help (no common cell phones in 1970). I directed traffic until the police arrived. The police at first didn’t believe that the driver of my crunched car could walk away – let along direct traffic. But I did. We didn’t discover the man under the other car for another ten minutes.

 [Note: The police report verified that the driver of the Ford was careless. His insurance company paid for everything; and yes, the fifty-seven year old man under the car survived. However, he had a massive heart attack, spent four months in the hospital, endured additional years of physical therapy, and was crippled for life.]

After giving my report to the police and undergoing three visits from other lawyers for depositions, my lawyer asked, “What would you like out of this?” That puzzled me. Again, how should I respond?

The lawyer could not believe it when I said, “I do not want to sue anyone; I just want my car repaired. If I honor the Lord, He will meet all my needs.” My car was repaired. Five months later Boeing had a massive layoff, so we moved to New Mexico.

DSCN8505BI thought the ordeal was over, but about a year later I was summoned back to Seattle. The crippled man was suing (rightfully so) and a more detailed deposition was required from me. This time I underwent something like an FBI interrogation, and the interrogators’ questions were leading me to spin the 1970 incident in favor of the crippled man. Desiring to support the injured man but maintain total honesty, once again how should I respond?

Asking for my original deposition to refresh my memory, I answered the questions openly and truthfully, and added other details that came to mind. I didn’t bad-mouth the driver of the Ford, but I did remind them the driver was neither alert to what was going on around him nor aware of road conditions. My desire was to be totally open with information and honest in detail. The man won his lawsuit.

In every situation in life we can spin things to our favor, but that would dishonor God and ultimately dishonor ourselves. So to answer the my friend’s initial question (How should we respond?), I determine to be honest and helpful in every situation, regardless of the outcome; and I ask God to help me to make right decisions. That enables me to maintain an accurate memory, a clear conscience, and a good attitude.

A Psalm for the Living

Have you read the 23rd Psalm lately? Okay, you may have looked at the words, but have you really thought about it? Have you ever become curious enough to dig into it to understand some of its life applications? Let’s read it (KJV), then look at it line-by-line.

IMG_2642The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

The LORD is my shepherd. The Shepherd is never in doubt as to who belongs to him. And nothing can take us from Him (Romans 8:35-39).

I shall not want. I will have no lack in my life. All my needs (not talking about desires) will be met.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. I will live in peace. I will not have strife in my life for I trust the Shepherd.

He leadeth me beside the still waters. Through the Shepherd’s guidance, I will stay out of trouble and be safe.

He restoreth my soul. If I go astray, disobey, or sin, the Shepherd restores our relationship when I repent.

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. The gentle Shepherd doesn’t push – He LEADS me in respectable and conscientious living which honors Him.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Even though I go through rough and dangerous times, even though I have severe trials and hardships, I will not fear because the Shepherd is by my side watching over me. The Shepherd allows hard times in my life for my benefit. If everything went peachy-smooth all the time, I would never learn to trust him.

Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. The Shepherd uses the staff to rescue, guide, and correct me; the rod is used for my discipline and to beat off predators and enemies.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. In the middle of both earthly conflict and spiritual battles, the Shepherd provides everything I need for both this life and in the next life. He never leaves me and shows me how to gain the victory. But I have to watch and listen.

Thou anointest my head with oil. The Shepherd has chosen me for a specific purpose or function, and promised that He will enable me and empower me to fulfill that purpose.

My cup runneth over. My life is complete. I am filled with blessings, friends, joy, and with confidence in the Shepherd that He will do all that He said He would.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. I will live righteously, and will show mercy to all those around me so that they, too, can learn to live for the Lord.

I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. I will live for the Lord, worship Him, and praise Him my entire earthly life, then throughout eternity.

After some study, I identified something that seemed to be missing from the Psalm.DSCN9839B There is an unspoken condition that is inferred after “The Lord is my Shepherd.” Many “sheep” who belong to the True Shepherd may not be enjoying all the benefits that this Psalm lists because they don’t understand or may not be aware of this unspoken condition. What is it?

Please read this next line several times: We must continually stay close to the shepherd and obey him. When sheep wander off, they can get hurt or killed because the shepherd can neither protect nor provide for them. The shepherd trains the sheep to follow him. He does not drive his sheep; he leads them. Therefore, the sheep must watch and stay close. As the sheep cooperate, all the shepherd’s love, care, and benefits are available to the sheep. But we must stay close to Him.

If we have truthfully accepted the leadership of the Shepherd, Jesus Christ, in our lives, this Psalm is applicable for us while we live! Then, if we have stayed close to the Shepherd, the Psalm is ever more comforting at the end of our earthly life. And the totality of its promises is guaranteed in heaven.

The Older Brother

I have heard the story of the Prodigal Son many times and something always seems to be missing. Maybe it’s the culture; I don’t know. Can you explain it?  [The story is found in Luke 15:11-32. Please read it.]

     I appreciated the reader’s question, for the main point is normally overlooked.

     As a background, Jesus taught according to the culture of the day and often used common illustrations from everyday life. For example, He spoke of rocks (rock of our salvation); water (living water); and food (bread of life). He also used parables to teach lessons, such as the sower and the seed (accepting or rejecting truth); the narrow path to heavenly rewards and the broad path to destruction (eternal life in heaven or hell); the mustard seed, and the weeds among the wheat (kingdom of heaven); and of course, forgiveness and acceptance (the prodigal son).

     The parable of the Prodigal Son has also been called many things; among them: The Lost Son, The Prodigal Father, and Restoration. But here are three cultural concepts to help us understand the story.

     Note: “Pharisees” in this article refer to only hypocritical Pharisees – not to all Pharisees.

  1. Normally a child receives an inheritance at a parent’s death. To ask for ourPICT0306B inheritance prior to death reveals a rebellious, selfish, and/or an immature character. It also reveals disdain for the parents. Dr. Ken Bailey lived and taught in the Middle East for over forty years and said that for a person to ask for his inheritance prematurely was tantamount to wishing his father to be dead; and the request would never have been granted. This suggests that the story may not have been historical; but, as was common with rabbinical teaching, was a spontaneous story or narrative to address a specific situation.
  2. Pigs were considered the lowest of unclean animal, and it was unthinkable for a Jew to live with and feed them.
  3. The father represents God and forgiveness, while the older brother portrays hypocritical rejection.

     Keep in mind that Jesus told this story in response to the Pharisees when they accused Him of eating with sinners. Therefore, we realize that the younger son represented the sinners (tax collectors, harlots, beggars, etc.) whom the Pharisees rejected, while the older brother represented the self-righteous folk (including some Pharisees, well-to-do Rabbis, Sadducees, et.al.) who were accosting Jesus.

     Let’s speed through Jesus’ word-picture: the young man obtains and squanders his wealth; a regional famine hits the land; the man sinks into the slough of despair and eats pigs’ food; he is rejected by his former comrades; in humility he comes to his senses and asks to return home; the father prepares a feast as he would for an honored guest; the son is restored to full son-ship; and the older brother has a conniption.

     Now we slow down. These Pharisees were not interested in the redemption of the lower classes—either into society or into heaven. They were interested only in promoting their own importance. This is validated in Matthew 23:23 where the Pharisees made sure that people knew they tithed even on vegetable seeds, but they didn’t live up to the Mosaic Law. They were overtly concerned with justice and equity, but they were blind to God’s desires and the people’s needs.

     With the Pharisees’ focus on their own status and prestige, they could not understand when Jesus told them the most important commandment was to love the Lord God with all our heart (which incorporated the first four Commandments), or the second most important which was to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (which incorporated the last six Commandments).

     The climax of the parable is that the older brother (representing ungodlyPICT0556 Pharisees) was angry when the father (representing God) forgave and honored a brother (representing low-class sinners) who had totally “blown it” in life. The brother thought that the young kid should be punished! 

     The main point is that punishment had already taken place, repentance had been made, and the brother needed reconciliation to family and society. It was the older brother who needed to change his outlook on life. 

     Conclusion: let us humbly forgive, accept, and restore those who have repented. Let’s never reject those who do not match up to our status in life.

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