As a child in elementary school, Valentine’s Day wasn’t a big event for me. In third grade I liked a girl named Nancy. However, I didn’t like her very long because when I told her I liked her, she kicked me. End of liking Nancy.
The down-side of Valentine’s Day in elementary school was that the teachers wanted us to give Valentine Cards or notes to everyone in the class, and that was a bummer: I didn’t even know most the kids in class.
In fifth grade, I liked Mrs. Wells. She was the only person in school to whom I wanted to give a card. When mom took me to the 5ȼ – 10ȼ store (we called it the dime store), I bought the usual bag of cheepies for the class, but found a good one for Mrs. Wells. I waited until no one was looking, and quickly put the card on her desk. None of the other kids knew what I had done until Mrs. Wells called me up and gave me a hug.
Have you ever been embarrassed to tears and elated up into the clouds at the same time? That was me.
Fast forward eight years.
In college, I met a girl named Carol Ann Winton. Okay, you probably figured it out. Yes, she has been Carol Ann Linzey for over 57 years now. Back in 1964-1966 when I saw her across campus walking to class, I broke into a run to walk with her. Just being with her pumped joy into my life! It still does!
In 1965, Valentine’s Day was on Sunday, I was eighteen years old, and Carol and I were attending SCC (Southern California College: now Vanguard University of Southern California). I remember thinking: “If Carol accepts my invitation to the Valentine Banquet, I’ll know that she is the girl I will marry.” So, nervously, I asked her.
Guess what? She didn’t kick me and I was elated. Yes friends, she accepted. I was thrilled to tears but not embarrassed; and for the first time since I was in fifth grade, Valentines Day was a special event.
Our wedding was on August 22, 1966—my 20th birthday anniversary.
I would be lying if I said we never had a problem. We are human beings with minds of our own, wills of our own, and our own stubbornness. But through the years the stubbornness in both of us has worn down because we wanted to love each other.
Did you read that last sentence? We WANTED to love each other.
The meaning is this: we were young and loved each other with an immature love. But because we made a dynamic commitment to each other, and expressed that commitment to the church, to our friends, and to God, we worked through the problems.
And listen: because we wanted to love each other, we learned what it meant, what it took, and how to do it. Learning to truly love isn’t easy, and it is not a 50-50 emotional split. It requires that we put our pride aside, release our stubbornness, and go out of our way to help our mate, even if we don’t want to. And it works both ways. Therefore, our early love matured into true love – the love that surpasses emotion.
In 1969 while working at Boeing Aircraft Company in Everett, Washington, one of my workmates had just become divorced – for the 3rd time. As we were discussing marriage, he said, “I’m sorry for you: you’re trapped and can’t have any fun.”
“You’ve got it wrong.” I responded. “I can go out with anyone I want, go wherever I want, and go whenever I want.”
“You’re full of it! How do you get away with that while being married?”
“My wife is the person I always want to go out with. We go everywhere together, and we always have fun.” That embarrassed him, or angered him, and he walked away.
We’re working on our 58th year now, and I’ve never been sorry that I married her. That is a true statement. And in our upper 70s now, we still have fun being with each other and travelling together.
Please understand: we haven’t always been happy with each other, but we never forget that we love each other. We stay together, work through the issues, and the happiness always returns. Happiness and emotions are fluid, but our love is solid. That way there is never a breach in our marriage.
One more important factor in our marriage must be mentioned. Both of our lives are anchored in a relationship with the Lord, Jesus Christ, and the love of God is the lubricant that keep our marriage gears running smoothly. We both put our highest priority in living for Jesus, and our second priority is living for each other. Both those priorities reinforce our love for each other.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Gene Linzey 