Fred told me about a negative interaction between him and his wife, Jacquie. The 6-month-old baby threw a temper tantrum so Fred tapped the baby on the thigh with two fingers and firmly let him know that the screaming was not allowed. The baby, still crying, at least stopped screaming. So far – so good.
Jacqie thought her husband was cruel and started scolding him in front of the baby. Fred told her to hush, turned her toward the door, and ordered her out of the room. Bad move!
Jacquie, now in a rage, turned and began pushing Fred. She had shoes on, but he was wearing socks without shoes and the floor was shiny hardwood. Losing traction and beginning to fall, he managed to somehow hop toward the bed. But Jacquie was still pushing and Fred realized that as they fell she might hit her head on the steel bed frame. Fall, they did! But he held onto her and managed to land both of them on the mattress. Good move!
Fred was breathing heavily, grateful that they were both safe. Jacquie was also breathing heavily – still in a rage! That’s when Fred whimsically said, “Now I know why we should never come between a mother bear and her cubs.”
Jacquie chuckled … Fred laughed … and they both burst out laughing which lasted for several minutes. The humor had broken the tension, and helped them to think through the situation in a more relaxed atmosphere. Excellent recovery!
He apologized, she forgave, the baby survived, and Fred & Jacquie are still happily married. Henry Ward Beecher said (paraphrased), “A marriage without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs – it’s jolted by every pebble in the road.”
Doctors and psychiatrists tell us that we should have five good belly-laughs a day. Why?
To start off, Proverbs 17:22 (NCV) tells us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Laughter is a strong and powerful force that has positive effects on the body. It improves breathing, lowers blood pressure, strengthens the immune system, relaxes muscles, releases stress, and reduces pain. This God-ordained medicine needs no prescription, is free, and has been available forever. Voltaire said, “The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.” Laughter reduces pain by increasing the body’s natural painkiller: endorphins. In hospitals, doctors use humor therapy after surgeries to enhance the healing process and improve health.
Having a sense of humor releases our native creativity and helps us to properly interpret events that happen to us. The way we perceive events determines whether we feel challenged, happy, threatened, puzzled, joyful, etc. Tense situations are where you need to laugh the most. Humor helps us to overlook the aggravating trivia that tend to grow out of proportion and block our vision.
Laughter is contagious and connects us with others; if you bring more laughter into your life, you can most likely help others around you to laugh more. Instead of complaining about life’s frustrations, try to laugh about them. My father used to say, “If someone’s got to be upset, it doesn’t have to be me.”
And yes: my wife, children, and I laugh a lot.
Our cardiovascular and respiratory systems benefit more from twenty seconds of laughter than from three minutes of exercise on a rowing machine. Through laughter, muscles release tension and neurochemicals are released into the bloodstream, creating the same feelings the long-distance joggers experience as “runner’s high.” Also, ten minutes of laughter helps people sleep more soundly.
Bob Hope said that laughter is an “instant vacation.” Jay Leno said, “You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.” And I remember another comedian saying, “If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.”
Studies reveal that individuals who have a strong sense of humor are less likely to experience burnout and depression; and they will most likely have a more fulfilled life in general – including a long-lasting marriage where they can enjoy their 50th wedding anniversary.
So lighten up. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Rather than focusing on what you want out of life, think about helping lighten someone else’s burden. And laugh with them.