Category: Family

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Thinking God’s Thoughts

In August of 2006, our daughter asked me, “Dad, will you write a poem for Timothy’s and my wedding?”

“Yes, but I’ll submit it to you for approval before finalizing it.” The first verse was from Rebecca’s point of view; the second from Timothy’s viewpoint; and so on throughout the poem.

When Rebecca showed it to Timothy, he exclaimed, “That’s amazing! Your dad said it exactly the way I would have said it. How did he do it?”

Rebecca responded, “Dad mentally climbed into your shoes. He knows the sound of your voice, he knows how you think, and imagined what you would say. Then he simply wrote what you probably would have said.”

In another situation, I worked for a man at a scientific laboratory for about eight years. I wrote many of his reports and memos, and conducted other business in his name. Rarely making editorial amendments, one day he asked me, “How do you write my reports in my ‘voice’ so fluidly? It seems as though you read my mind. How do you do it?”

I told him: “I know the sound of your voice, I know your work ethics, and I’ve watched you make decisions. Therefore, I mentally climb into your shoes, imagine what you would say concerning the situation, let those thoughts flow through my mind, and write what I hear.”

My father passed from this life in February of 2010, but I can still tell you what he would think and say in various situations because I know him intimately.

I hope you readers understand that I don’t have any special ability uncommon to the rest of you. You all can do the same thing. How?

You must know how the other person thinks. You must know how he or she sounds. You must know the person’s values and how the person reacts. Very simply: you must KNOW the person.

Jesus provided the best example of this concept. Having originally come from heaven (John 1:1-3), He knew the Father intimately. Jesus diligently sought the Father’s counsel and He always remained alert to the Father’s thoughts. Jesus knew and shared God’s values, ethics, compassion, etc. Because of that, every time Jesus spoke, He told others what God’s desires were.

In reality, we can also know God’s thoughts and apply His solutions to many of our problems in life. And if we employed that same concept with our friends and family members, we could generally avoid or settle most of the interpersonal problems that come our way.

So, how do we mere humans think God’s thoughts? I am glad you asked.

First, you have to know that God is real. Second, you have to know God intimately. And unless God, Himself, appears to you in a vision, the primary way you will know Him is by studying the Bible – God’s revelation of Himself to humankind.

We find insight into this concept in 1 Corinthians 2:13-16. The Apostle Paul was teaching about spiritual matters relating to our relationship to Jesus. He said,

“13 When we tell you this, we do not use words of human wisdom. We speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. 14 But people who are not Christians cannot understand these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them because only those who have the Spirit can understand what the Spirit means. 15 We who have the Spirit understand these things, but others can’t understand us at all. 16 How could they? For, “Who can know what the Lord is thinking? Who can give him counsel?” But we can understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ” (NLT).

That last phrase is the key: “We (Christians who obey the Lord) have the mind of Christ.” That is, we can learn to think along the same lines as Jesus thinks because studying the Bible helps us to think more like God. But there is an added benefit: thinking more like God enables us to understand Scripture more accurately. Then, of course, more accurately understanding Scripture helps us to know the Lord more intimately, and to progressively think more like Him.

We can learn to think God’s thoughts. That was God’s plan when He created Adam and Eve. When we think like someone, we can become like that person. And that’s what God wants of us – to become more like Him. (Read Ephesians 4:13.)

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Notes on Marriage

What does it take to have a joyful, long-lasting Marriage? Not merely long-lasting, but joyfully long-lasting. This topic could possibly fill 75 books, but I’d like to share two simple ideas that will help.

First: Develop a Deep-Seated Desire to Honor the Lord.

I accepted the Lord into my life at age 5 – and I remember it clearly even today – but I didn’t know much about maturing in my Christian walk until after Carol and I were married. Was I a Christian? Yes. Did I turn away from the world? Yes. That’s why I turned down the invitation at age 18 to go to Hollywood.  Did I love the Lord? Yes, as much as I knew how.

God knew how to get my attention, and I listened. At age 15, He let me know that I would get married early. But I didn’t go looking for a girl-friend for a prospective wife: I knew God would bring her to me – or take me to her. And He did.

We married on August 22, 1966: my 20th birthday anniversary. We said our vows from memory and sang a duet for our wedding; the title is Submission [to the will of God].

Throughout our marriage, I had three priorities: 1) Serve the Lord to the best of my ability, 2) Take care of my family, and 3) In everything I do, give it my best effort. I decided to be the perfect husband and the perfect father. Well, I knew there is no such thing as perfect, but I would be next to it.

WRONG! I made many mistakes, and that shouldn’t surprise anyone.

But my strongest desire in the world was to live for the Lord in the best way I knew how. I also knew that Carol was more spiritually mature than I was, and I learned from her.

Second: Develop a Deep-Seated Desire to Honor your Spouse.

I had a flippant outlook on life until Carol and I were married. I was a mediocre student in high school and my first two years in college. But when we were married, my outlook on life changed. I excelled in all my schooling and vocational work. As a bi-vocational pastor, I helped stabilize churches and businesses.

But putting that kind of drive into husband-hood and fatherhood caused strife. Something needed to change. But what? My attitude, for starters. Here are several items I had to work on.

Be kind to others. Accept them for who they are. If a change needs to be made, allow God to do the work.

Be kind to Carol and the kids. Don’t try to force them into my mold. Allow them to grow into their own person. Guide them. Don’t order them, but help them.

Listen to Carol. Spend time with her. Allow her to freely express her thoughts and feelings. It was hard for me to listen without trying to fix everything, but listening without interrupting is sometimes the best thing a person can do.

Don’t try to solve everyone’s problems. I don’t know as much as I think I do, anyway. I need to allow the Holy Spirit to be the Fixer. Don’t try to take His place, but as much as humanly possible, be available to help.

When Carol & I seem to get upset with each other, it isn’t always because of something we did wrong. We might be bothered about another issue, and we’re subconsciously expressing our feelings about it. We learned this from I Samuel 8:1-9. The people were upset with the prophet Samuel; they wanted a king to rule them instead of a prophet. God told Samuel, “They’re not rejecting you, Samuel; they’re rejecting Me.”

That told Carol and me we aren’t normally upset with each other, so don’t interpret disagreements as personal attacks. The fight isn’t ours, and the Lord will help us to eventually settle it. I call it: Don’t catch the verbal hand-grenades. Don’t retaliate or respond to the perceived attack.

Don’t try to resolve every misunderstanding because some problems will not be resolved this side of the grave. Most problems are not life & death issues; they are not violations of our marriage vows; and they won’t make much of a difference anyway. State your opinions, but do not require changes. Allow each other the emotional freedom to be himself or herself.

Be each other’s best friend.

So honor the Lord, and honor your spouse; you will be surprised how much happier you both will be, and how much more joyful you home will be.

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What’s on Your Mind?

One day when I was 12 years old, dad asked me, “What are you thinking about?”

“I was just remembering the trip you and mom took me on when I was five. We went to Yosemite, and we watched the fire fall from the top of the cliff.”

“You remember that? Seven years ago? Can you tell me about it?”

I surprised dad with all that I remembered. About driving through the park, where we camped, and the park ranger talking with the visitors. Then at nine o’ clock at night, the ranger hollered to the men up on Glacier Point, “Let the fire fall!” And when the rangers up on the cliff began pushing the burning wood and hot coals over the edge, it looked like a glowing waterfall.

I found out later that the men on Glacier Point couldn’t hear the ranger; everything was timed.

“Why don’t you write about that vacation?”

“Dad, I hate writing, and my handwriting is terrible.”

“A typewriter can fix your writing, but only you can fix the desire to write. Writing will be important to you someday, so you may as well start now.”

He told me to get a sheet of paper and a pencil. I did. He then said something funny. At least it seemed strange to me. “Make the pencil move and make the lines mean something. Start with today’s date, and the name of something you are interested in. You can even write about watching the fire fall.”

I knew the day’s date, and dad knew I loved kittens. “I have an idea, write what you like about kittens.”

That didn’t make me like to write, but I enjoyed talking about cats. So dad is the one who jump-started me in my writing career and the desire to study the Bible. But it took several more years and a few more nudges to get the ball rolling.

My seventh-grade teacher, Mr. Beharka, and my college history professor, Dr. J.C. Holsinger, are the two who propelled me into studying history. When I realized that I could merge history with the Bible, I came alive.

Years later, friends and acquaintances began asking me questions about history, the Bible, science, a few other topics, and I discovered that I enjoyed writing my thoughts to share with them. In time, my writing became a teaching tool.

How about you who are reading this note? Have you thought about writing? No, you don’t have to attend a Dale Carnegie writing course, attend the university, or take an online writing class. But someone – could be your children, grandchildren, church friends or social club – is interested in you. Someone is interested in what you’ve experienced, what you’ve learned, who you are inside. You are important.

You don’t even have to join a writers guild, although that could help. My wife, Carol, said for decades that she wasn’t a writer until she finally accepted my challenge. She agreed to write about something and let the guild members read it. Guess what? She wrote it very well, they enjoyed it, and encouraged her to write more. It surprised her to no end when she won a $200 award in a writing contest.

Your experiences, your world-view, your outlook on life can help others learn how to face a challenge, learn how to overcome a problem, even learn how to enjoy life. Someone needs to hear from you, and you can start with getting a pencil … no, let’s come up to date. You can start with turning on your computer, typing your name and date, and the name of something you’re interested in.

What’s on your mind? Write about it. Encourage others with your thoughts. You are more important than you think you are. And if you need help or have questions, you can contact me through the connect page. Have a great week.

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The Joy of Family

In the summer of 2019, our daughter, Darlene, and her husband asked Carol and me to join them for a 5-day vacation in Pagosa Springs, Colorado. Our other daughter, Rebecca, and her family came up from Texas, and some dear friends, Charles and Cathy Knoop, trekked from New Mexico.

What’s going on? We found out.

They all gave Carol and me a surprise 53rd wedding anniversary party! At our age, we don’t feed each other, but we tried it this time, and as you can see, we had fun.

We had a great time in Pagosa Springs. Breakfast was on our own; Rebecca, a certified Health Coach for Dr. Sears Wellness Institute, gave us ground-breaking ideas of how to enjoy our retirement years – beginning with proper eating-habits (we began our new eating plan after the ice cream & cake); and nightly dinner was in Charles and Cathy’s condo. What a time we had!

I enjoyed Rebecca’s teaching as a Health Coach. Implementing her information helped me to get down to my target weight. Starting at 183 pounds, I got down to 164, and there’s no special diet. I eat plenty of food, I have more energy, and my clothes fit better. If you would like to hear more about this, email me your interest, and I’ll get you in touch with Rebecca.

Charles and I did what we always did in Pagosa – we went fishing! You can see the joy on his face with this catch. I kept two of the three catfish and all six rainbow-trout I caught. I should tell you: I like to eat catfish, but in the future, I’ll leave the catfish catching & cleaning business to the restaurants. Those critters are difficult to clean! The restaurants also cook them better than I did.

The smallest trout we caught was 14 inches, and the largest was 19. The trout are easy to clean, wonderful to eat, and Carol makes trout-fish sandwiches with the leftovers. I like that better than tuna-fish sandwiches.

One daughter and family lives in Colorado, and the other daughter and family lives in Texas. One son and family moved to California, and another son and family moved to Indiana. But Carol and I don’t plan on moving, so one son here in Arkansas visits us often. We play racquetball and he beats me 95% of the time; but I enjoy the game. Maybe I should mention: the 5% of the times I win are a gift: he humors me by letting me win.

When it was time to part ways in Pagosa, we asked if Serena, Rebecca’s 3rd daughter, could spend a couple of weeks with us. The request was granted.

Carol and I haven’t had small children staying with us for quite a while, and this was a treat for us.

Seven-year-old kids are smart. They know what they want, and endeavor to get it. But Serena is polite, and learned my house-rules quickly. She learned to clean her plate, make her bed, and pick up the toys before bed-time. And it didn’t take long for her to learn to like my Honey Bunches of Oats cereal. She already liked Braum’s vanilla ice cream. I had to make sure I got my fair share of it.

My name for Serena is Bunny, and she calls me the Old Goat. Bunny and I hopped around and had a good time. In fact, we had such a good time that Grandma (Carol) had to settle us down several times.

Bunny likes animals, and surprised Grandma with a palm-sized Anura. That word in Ancient Greek means without tail, and is a frog. There are over 6,300 recorded species of Anurans which amount to about 88% of amphibians today. But even one frog was enough for Grandma. “Keep it out of the house.”

Bunny didn’t talk much around people whom she didn’t know, but she was a talking machine around the house. Bunny also put puzzles together with Grandma,.

The day after we returned Bunny to her parents, the house felt almost empty. In fact, after breakfast, I turned to see if Bunny had picked up her plate – but no Bunny. Carol said, “I miss her, too.”

The joy of family is one of the greatest gifts of God to us. Spend time with your family, and cultivate the loving friendship that only family can give. You’ll be glad you did.

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Happy New Year, Friends

On December 31, 2020, Carol and I spent a quiet New Year’s celebration together. It was relaxing because from 2008 through 2022, we had been home on December 31 only five times and on the road ten times. Hey, I just realized that we’ll stay home this year, too. YAY1

Several friends asked, “Can’t sit still, can ya?” My response is normally, “You find no moss under my wheels.” For example, in 2021 we drove over 29,000 miles and almost 21,000 in 2022.

It’s well-known by our families, friends, and those who read my articles, that we enjoy living in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. All cities, towns, and villages have their problems, but we’ve found this town to be one of the most pleasant places we’ve ever lived. With that in mind, why do we “hit the road” so often?

One quick answer is: our five kids live in five different states, and our siblings are spread out from the West Coast to the Mississippi Valley. We enjoy visiting them. We also have the privilege of preaching and teaching in our travels.

A second answer is: we enjoy seeing God’s creation first-hand. Seeing nature in books and on video is great. But nothing beats driving through the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range, seeing the Space Needle in Seattle, WA, the amazing Oregon Coast, Puget Sound in the great northwest, Niagara Falls, the red granite beaches of Maine, the snow-white beaches of Siesta Beach in Florida, seeing Yellowstone and Yosemite National Parks, and HUNDREDS of other places.

We also enjoy seeing the marvels of man’s creation, such as Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, the 605-foot tall Space Needle in Seattle, and the 630-foot tall Arch in St. Louis.

Historic sites such as the Yorktown, Virginia battlefield, the Gettysburg Battlefield, and Pearl Harbor cause me to stop and contemplate how different life might have been if the political and military tide had turned the other way.

The third answer is: we’re getting older, and some day our travel days will be over. So let’s travel while we can.

As we travel, we take thousands of pictures to document where we’ve been and what we saw. We’re grateful for digital photography because that’s a lot less expensive than the film we bought in the past. We often get our pictures out (on computer or other devices) and through our memory, we take those trips again.

The ability to remember amazes me. When I get to heaven, I want to ask God how He created memory. But I think He’ll simply say: That’s My secret.

As I mentally gaze on our blessings this past year, I read that approximately 3,273,707 people died in 2022 in the United States (around 69,163,777 worldwide), others have gotten sick, many have lost homes and businesses due to pandemics, government mistakes, the natural flow of economics, ongoing wars, and natural disasters. But sickness, wars, governmental problems, business failures, and all the other problems and catastrophes have been going on since shortly after Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden. As we read in Ecclesiastes 1:9, “The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.”

The emphasis is: there’s nothing new under the sun. We have modern means of traveling, conducting war, studying, and getting work done, but the essence of life hasn’t changed throughout man’s history. Sickness, death, and all other problems related to life on earth will continue until Jesus stops it. And He will return one day.

But if He doesn’t return soon enough, I will die too. I don’t know by what means, but I will die, and the thought doesn’t bother me at all because death is part of life, and I know where I’ll go – to heaven to be with Jesus.

In the same concept as midnight on December 31 starts a new year, or a baby being born starts a new life, when my traveling days are over and I breathe my last on earth, I will start a new year, a brand-new life in heaven. It’s part of the Christian’s cycle of life.

However, as badly as I feel for those who have been hurt by various events on earth, I feel worse for those who die while not believing in Jesus Christ. We can start over after a catastrophe on earth, but when we die without faith in Jesus, there is no recovery. Think about it.

And I do wish you a Happy New Year.

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My Most Meaningful Christmas

When I reflect back on my life, many occasions stand out as special events. Eleven memories are: my wedding day; the day I joined a Gospel quartet as a teenager; each day of the birth of our five kids; the day I dropped dad’s prized notebook into the San Diego Harbor; the day dad returned from a 13-month deployment; the first time I preached over the radio; and the day, when playing hide-n-seek, I backed into a cactus plant. (I won’t tell you how badly that hurt!)

When I consider my most meaningful Christmas Day before marriage, I have to pause and go through my life – location-by-location. In the 20 years between my birth and marriage, we lived in 9 different places (10 if we include the college campus), and my childhood memories are in those 10 mental compartments. As an adult married for 57 years – and counting to the same, wonderful, precious Carol – we lived in 17 different locations – so far.

Reflecting on my childhood, dad sometimes took us on Saturday afternoon family walks through El Cajon, California. We walked past Foster’s Freeze ice cream store, and each of us got an ice cream cone. They cost a nickel back then. We walked to the other end of town, stopping at the 5, 10, & 15-cent store for a coke. They cost a dime. We then crossed the highway, and walked back home, stopping first by the Ford dealership to look at new cars. Looking didn’t cost anything. As children, we thought it must have been a 5-mile walk. But the walks were probably around two miles at the most and were deeply enjoyable times with mom and dad.

Whenever I got into a fuss with any of my five sisters, I always went to dad for consolation. He didn’t arbitrarily take my side in the fuss, but he helped me understand life. I felt important when I was with my dad.

But then, the navy sent dad overseas for 13 months, and I felt all alone. I plodded along, but life was hollow for me. I hate to admit it, but I cried often. Not realizing it, I became belligerent at times to mom. It wasn’t intentional, but I was a kid, and hurting. However, that doesn’t excuse me, and I eventually grew up and asked both mom and the Lord to forgive me.

Then Dad Returned Home! And I became happy again. We had two Christmases that year. When dad returned in the summer of 1957 and gave all of us gifts, we claimed that as an extra Christmas. Then we celebrated the regular Christmas in December. That Christmas was my most meaningful childhood Christmas.

But Joy still comes in the morning. That’s the first line in the chorus of the song, Alive & Breathing, by Matt Maher.

Dad helped pick out the tree. Dad brought out the special gifts he had purchased for us overseas but had concealed them in his closet. We never suspected he had them. Dad spent the whole day with us. Dad, my brothers, and I tossed the football. We played catch with a baseball. Dad had target-practice with me with my new Daisy B-B Gun. Many of us played Monopoly. Dad won. We had root-beer floats. All in all, I was in heaven-on-earth! Life wasn’t perfect, but my daddy was home! And that was my most meaningful Christmas as a child.

What about you? Think back in time. Our memory is our Time Travel Machine. Relax and take time to reflect on your life. What events or relationship made Christmas meaningful to you, and when was that? It can be either when you were a child or an adult. Please take time to jot down some notes and think about the good times in your life. Share those good memories with family and friends.

But there’s another story for a lot of people. Many of you might not have good or enjoyable memories. Life has been hard. Rejection has been inscribed across the recesses of your mind. Sometimes you might think of ending it all. I would like you, also, to write some of those painful memories on paper. Write down the details of how you’ve been hurt. Then I want you to talk with God about it. Tell Him how difficult your life has been. Pour out your heart and feelings to Him. He understands. Why?

Jesus was born into this corrupt, hell-bent world to show us a better way to live. His purpose was to take the penalty of our own sin and selfishness so that we could be healed and restored to Father God. Jesus’ plan is for us to live with Him where sin, selfishness, and sorrow does not exist. It’s called Heaven.

God commissioned people to jot down His thoughts to give us. Those notes are the Bible. You can learn to know Jesus by reading Matthew, Mark, and Luke, but especially the Gospel of John. Leaving heaven, He came to be born as a human, like us. But unlike you and me, Jesus was never selfish. As a human, He didn’t search for fulfillment to make His life worthwhile. Instead, He came to give Himself in order to make our lives worthwhile. He gave His life on the cross to re-establish eternal life for us. In His 33 years on earth prior to His crucifixion, He showed us how to live, how to love, and how to give.

Also unlike you and me, Jesus raised back to life to confirm that He is, indeed, God, and to reaffirm His love for us.

I encourage you this Christmas season to think less of stuff, more of others, and especially, more of Jesus. He wasn’t born in December, but this celebration is still all about Him. Stuff will wear out; but if you choose to live for Jesus Christ, our Savior, your relationship with Him will last forever.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

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Birthday Celebrations

Two of my sisters and two of my children were born in November, so let’s talk about birthdays.

You all know the song, “Happy birthday to you.” It’s normally sung as a cake, with lit candles, is brought into the room or placed on the table. Someone hollers “make a wish,” then the birthday-kid – or adult – blows the candles out with one breath. I’ll admit, it’s difficult to get them all with one breath if there are more than 25 on the cake, or if they are trick candles.

Have you ever heard of those? Trick candles usually have magnesium dust in the wick. After the person blows out the candles, a glowing ember reignites the magnesium, and that reignites the residual wax in the wick. I know the trick to blowing them out – and keeping them out – with one breath, but I won’t tell.

Once when 35 candles were on my cake, it set off the smoke alarm!

Happy Birthday, cake, ice cream, presents, noise … where did it all begin? The answer will reveal why some Christians, Puritans as well as contemporary individuals, don’t celebrate them. They consider the festivity as pagan. They saw it as evil, arrogant, and ego-building.

It seems that birthday celebrations began in ancient Egypt. The date of birth was viewed in conjunction with astronomy, hoping “the stars” might predict their future. Also, a Pharaoh re-established his birthdate to when he became Pharaoh, because that’s when the people viewed him as a god.

The ancient people thought that demons were especially active during major events in our lives, so they made loud noises to scare them away. During new year festivities, the noise comes from guns, fireworks, and other means. For birthdays, noisemakers of many types are employed. But they also thought joy and happiness warded off demons, so gifts were given to make the person happy.

Candles might have come from the Greeks as they honored the goddess Artemis. They were lit to glow like the moon, which was a symbol associated with that goddess.  

Various cultures counted birthdays differently. For example. In June of 1969, we spoke with Chief Eagle of the Rosebud Sioux Reservation in South Dakota. In the past they didn’t think of years; they counted winters. (The Sioux call themselves the Lakota or Dakota – which means, Our People.)

It appears that the birthday cake, as we know it today, was first invented in Germany for their Kinderfeste, or Children’s Festivity. Creamed ice – I said that correctly – was known as early as the second century B.C. But ice cream might have been invented in the mid-1700s A.D. It’s said that President George Washington spent $200 for ice cream in the hot summer of 1790.

The original tune for “Happy Birthday” was written in 1893 by two sisters (Patty and Mildred Hill), both Kentucky school teachers. Their song was called “Good Morning To All,” and was sung by the students each school morning. But when a child had a birthday, the sisters substituted the lyrics Happy Birthday To You.

September 9 and October 5 compete as the most common birth date in the United States, but February 29, on the calendar every fourth year, is the least common birth date in the world.

The majority of American children celebrate birthdays with a cake topped with lighted candles. Most families use candles to represent how old a person is. When the cake is set before the guest of honor, he or she is supposed to make a wish without telling anyone what it is. After making a wish, he or she tries to blow out the candles. If all the candles go out with one breath, it is believed that the wish will come true.

Birthdays are celebrated more for children than for adults, unless it’s a milestone birthday such as 21, 30, 40, 50, 75, or 100. But have you ever thought about why we even bother to celebrate birthdays? Very simply, it’s a time for friends and family to come together and rejoice with you, to tell you how much you mean to them. Or to congratulate you for surviving another year.

With so many people hurting, feeling rejected, or unimportant, celebrating their life and honoring them is a wonderful way to express your love to them, and tell them how much they mean to you. It doesn’t need to cost much, but it’s important to show your family and friends that you care.

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Be Ready for Surprises

Carol and I have an exciting life. We often don’t know from one day to the next what we’ll encounter – whether we’ll enjoy the events or be disappointed that we got out of bed. However, we understand that every day and in every situation in life, we have choices about how we’ll respond to circumstances. Sometimes events may be planned, but often they seem to pop up out of the blue. But we choose to respond in ways that honor the Lord.

For example, I wanted to visit my brother in California who was having health problems. Stopping for the weekend to visit with a dear, life-long friend who is a pastor, at 5:30 on Saturday evening, the pastor asked, “Would you be willing to preach for us tomorrow?”

I could have reacted with, “This is too short of a notice. I need more time to prepare.” But that’s not how God works. God had a plan in mind for both the church and for me, and I didn’t need much time to prepare. God had already been preparing the message in my mind and heart.

Another example developed as we were planning our route west from Albuquerque. Snow was forecast for Flagstaff, and pulling a trailer uphill in snowy weather is not my idea of safe traveling. So, we decided to take the southern route through Las Cruces, NM, and west through Mesa and Phoenix, Arizona.

However, we found out that God guided us in choosing the southern route because another friend who lived in Mesa had passed away. Her husband, Bill, called and asked if we could be with him at the home-going ceremony which would be at 10:00 AM on Monday. We agreed and arrived in Mesa on Saturday and stayed with Bill through the weekend.

Arriving at the cemetery at 9:30 AM on Monday, we interacted with Bill and the other family members, but the pastor hadn’t arrived yet. Finally, at 9:55 AM, I asked Bill, “Where’s your pastor?”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you? You’re him.” Surprised, I asked if he had an agenda. He said, “You’re it.”

I turned to the funeral director and asked him about his agenda. He responded, “I was told you’d have it.”

Again, I could have complained about not being informed beforehand. But if we are truly followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, our lives and schedules are in His hands, and He has the freedom to guide our paths. That eliminates a lot of potential stress.

I took a deep breath, sent up a quick prayer, and reprogrammed my mind. Four minutes later we began our Celebration of Life service. It didn’t take any time for preparation because God was in charge, and Jo had been Carol’s and my friend since the early 1990s. I opened the meeting with prayer, then related an interaction with her when I was music minister where she played trumpet in the orchestra. Other friends who had known Jo since the 1980s were there, along with Jo’s husband and family. They, and others, added stories from their past. We truly celebrated her life, and it seemed like it was all planned.

Guess what? It WAS all planned – in the mind of God.

When a surprise springs up in front of us, all we need to do is ask the Lord for guidance. God likes that, and always has an answer. He’s in charge, and all we need to do is communicate with Him and be ready to obey.

That reminds me of another interaction many years ago.

In 1978 when Carol & I, with our 3 older kiddos were getting ready to relocate from New Mexico to Oklahoma, an older pastor in Albuquerque gave me this admonition:

“Gene, don’t open your own doors. You, and others who are like you, have a tendency to open doors that God doesn’t want open. Keep your hands off the doorknobs. Let God open the doors for you, but be sure to go through the ones He opens.”

“May I try the doors and see if they’re unlocked?”

“You may lightly push – with one finger. But keep your hands off the knobs.”

I’ve lived by that rule and God has led in wonderful ways.

Many surprises await us, so trust God for His guidance. Psalm 28:7a says, “The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.” Be ready to obey, and enjoy the surprises.

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Is There Life Without Internet?

This is a follow-up of my blog last week. But this trip, in late 2018, took us up to the Great Northwest. We were staying at the Silver Lake RV Resort about 48 miles west of Mount St. Helens, not far from Castle Rock, Washington, .

My Precious Carol and I have been staying at an RV Campground since September 15 that does not provide wi-fi service for us. They do provide it for people staying for two weeks or less, but those of us who stay long-term have to pay for our own internet service, wi-fi, and electricity. All you veteran RVers probably know what I’m talking about, but this was new to us.

I laughingly and facetiously asked my Bride of 52 years, “Is there life without internet?”

She reminded me of when our three older kids were in elementary school. The school officials were going to conduct an experiment that was titled: Is there life after TV? The Public Schools were cooperating in a research endeavor regarding the effects of television on family life.

This was not mandatory for everyone, but on Monday morning all kids in the school were encouraged to refrain from watching television for the next 7 days. The kids took notes home to their parents asking them to participate with the project.

The kids were asked to bring in daily reports of what they did each day and how life changed; but in our house, we watched very little TV so I didn’t expect quality of life to change. Darlene, Ron, and Jeremy practiced their musical instruments a little more, we played a few more family games, and we got into more family discussions. But I was surprised when Carol told me how much better we all got along with each other.

Guess what? Shortly after that educational experiment, we sold the TV and used the money for music lessons. Our kids were in on the family pow-wow, and that decision was unanimous.

For the rest of the school, was there life after television? After just two days, there was weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth in many of the homes – and much of that came from the parents!

It was surprising how many families had wrapped and warped their lives around the box that usurped so much of their time. Unplugging the television was like a divorce, and life was shattered. Many families couldn’t take it and turned the TV back on. Relief flooded their homes as each family member resumed going his or her separate way.

That was in 1979 and we still do not immerse ourselves in television, theater, entertainment, etc. Our daughters and Carol & I own televisions, but the TVs are tools we use at our discretion. On the other hand, our two married boys, Ron and Jeremy and their large families, don’t own television sets. We all understand what life is about.

Now, where was I? Oh yes … is there life without the internet?

The first question my Precious Carol and I asked ourselves is: What is the purpose of this extended trip?

The purpose is two-fold. We realized that if nothing in our lives changed in these, our later years, we would not be making any new memories. So 1) I resigned from all my responsibilities to reduce stress, and be with Carol. And 2) I need time to write two or three books.

And guess what? It is great! Even without internet.

But let me be open with you: I do need wi-fi and internet periodically, but not 24/7. I need internet capability – as when I need to email you folk, send my Reflection articles to the newspaper, and do research – and the park officials allow me to intermittently use their service in the lodge. But leaving the RV to do that means I plan my time judiciously because this trip was mainly about spending time with Carol.

So, are there benefits of not having internet and TV? Yes, that’s why I am not paying for it at RV campsites. But we are paying for electricity. That comes in handy if we want to have lights, heat, and use of the computer – wi-fi or not.

One man asked me, “Don’t you want continuous use of your e-mail service?”

I told him that I can live without most of the e-mail I receive, and e-mail that friends and family send can be answered when I have time. I reminded him of the benefit of e-mail: others can send e-mail at THEIR convenience, and I can respond at MY convenience. I am not hog-tied to the internet or e-mail; the telephone is what’s needed for immediate interaction.

 Well, since you’re reading this, I suppose the e-mail worked and my blog got through the internet. Have a great day.

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You’ve Got to be Kidding!

The following event took place in 2018.

“Where are you going this time?” Ed seemed to think my Precious and I should stay put for a while. “And how long will you be gone?”

“We’re going to The Ridges Resort in Young Harris, Georgia. It’s time for the annual reunion of the USS Yorktown (CV-5) Survivor’s Club, and we’re meeting in northern Georgia this year. The reunion will run from May 2-6. I’m the chaplain for the group”

“Oh yeah. Your dad was on the Yorktown at the Battle of Midway, wasn’t he? When was that battle?”

“June 3-6, 1942, and the ship sunk on June 7. I replaced Dad as chaplain of the survivor’s club when Dad died. We’re wrapping a trip around the reunion.”

“Young Harris? Funny name for a town.”

“It’s a real town – a small one – about six miles south of the Tennessee border and about 110 miles by road south of Gatlinburg, Tennessee.”

I told Ed we bought a travel trailer, and that it’ll be our home on the road for a month. I also mentioned that we would visit the Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C., the Gettysburg Battlefield, Niagara Falls, and maybe Noah’s Ark in Williamstown, Kentucky again before coming home.

 “The trip sure sounds interesting. But I know you: you wouldn’t buy a trailer for only a one-month trip, and I know you have to be home for your writer’s conference in June. So, why the trailer?”

“Okay, Ed; I’ll give you a hint. Starting in late July or early August, we’ll be on the road for about a year.”

“A year! Are you serious?”

“Yes, we’ll be gone for about a year, and the trailer will, indeed, be our home on the road. We’ll need a renter for the house. If you know of a family who needs a home for a year, let me know. But regarding the trip, I’m going to conduct an informal survey of churches across America while we travel the country. And, yes, we’ll do a lot of sight-seeing as we go.”

Shaking his head, “More like a spot-check survey. I think you ought to stay home. You going to keep writing for the paper?”

“Oh yes. For some reason Graham Thomas puts up with me, so you’ll see me every Wednesday in the Herald-Leader. And I’ll send Graham Tales From the Road periodically.”

Ed said he would pummel me with more questions later; but he had errands to run.

We never had a trailer before, so we made a preliminary week-end excursion to the Dallas area in March to learn about pulling one. We’ve named the car Traveler and the trailer Casita. In US Navy terms, the Dallas trip was the trial-run; the month-long Yorktown Reunion trip will be the shake-down cruise; and the year-long excursion will be the maiden voyage. (The month-long stretched into a 7-week trip.)

I chuckle as I think about Ed’s and my conversation. It’s true that Carol and I travel a bit, and I’m thinking of a trip back in June of 1970. Renting a U-Haul truck, we were moving from Everett, Washington to Los Alamos, New Mexico. Carol and our two kids flew by United Airlines, and a friend, Oscar Moe, drove the truck with me. Stopping in Pinehurst, Idaho for gas, Oscar struck up a conversation with the gas-station attendant.

“How long have you lived here in Pinehurst?” Oscar asked.

“All my life.”

“Have you traveled much throughout the Great Northwest?”

“Never been outa Pinehurst.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but you said you are 38-years-old, and you’ve never been out of town?”

“Yup. Don’t need to go nowhere. Family’s here, dog’s here. Ma and Pa’s buried here.”

That amazed me! I was almost 24-years-old, married almost 4 years, and had traveled coast-to-coast with my Navy parents. Meeting someone who had never been out of town? That was almost beyond my comprehension.

Well, back to the 2018 trip.

Ed didn’t think we were really serious about this trip in a small trailer, and when he saw it, he burst out, “You’ve got to be kidding!”

I agreed with him that this will be living in close quarters for a while, and the weekend trip to Dallas would introduce us to living with each other in a portable house that is about half the size of the living room in our house. Will there be tension or misunderstandings? We are human, so the answer was yes. The inside space of a 20-foot trailer has only about 120 useable square feet, and that’s a lot less personal space than a 1750-square-foot house!

But our dedication to Jesus Christ was foundational and our love for and devotion to each other is a close second. We understand human nature. but no matter what happens on this ball we call earth, I’d rather be with Carol than with anyone else in the world. Therefore, overcoming problems is a given, and we will grow through them.

That was five years ago, and Carol & I have slowed down a little. But don’t be surprised if you hear that we took off on another trip. After all, the Casita is still on our driveway in front of the house. Tires are good, and — come to think of it, we are going to Texas in 2 weeks. Hmmmm………